I am so glad that Halloween has come and gone! I just can’t stand it. I’m not sure why. Alright, maybe it’s because I gain ten pounds as I inhale miniature candy bars by the fist full, or maybe it has something to do with the annual argument with my son. He doesn’t understand why I don’t want him dressing up as something like Satan’s Guardian. Hmm. Someday he’ll get it.
This year, during Trick or Treat time, it was pouring rain, and the neighborhood kids were bundled up in coats. However, this did not detour them, or their soggy parents. They were still determined to get their candy. As they came to our door, my husband would say to them things like, “Who are you?”, “What are you supposed to be?”
I got to thinking about this. Imagine how it was from my perspective. I couldn’t see the children, just heard them answer my husband’s questions. They would answer, in excited tones,”I’m Harry Potter”, “I’m a witch”, “I’m a zombie”, “I’m a lady bug.” etc.
I know it sounds strange to compare Trick or Treating with spiritual things, but it brought to mind another meeting. When we knock at his door, what will be our response to Heavenly Father’s similar questions? Will we be able to say, “I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.”, “I am polished by adversity.”, “I am changed by the grace of the atonement.”, “I am clean.”, or “I am yours, Father.”? Will we be excited to enter his presence, and receive all that he has, because we have repented, stretched spiritually, consecrated ourselves and our lives and received Christ’s image in our countenances?
I invite you to evaluate your current responses to the questions my husband asked our neighborhood children: “Who are you? What are you supposed to be?” Because our lives are different, each of us will have different answers. But, our goal is the same- to become like Christ. In this process, we need not pretend to be something other than who we are- children of Father in Heaven. We need no artificial disguises of righteousness. We need only to become righteous, or more so, more charitable, more humble, more malleable, and more like Christ.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Don't give up!
I recently made a new friend, and her story breaks my heart. I long to comfort her, and take away her sorrow. But, that is something only the Savior can completely do. Speaking about trials, she writes: “I was taken away from my parents when I was only 3 days old. I was found by authorities with a broken collar bone and had not been fed or changed for days. I was placed in a foster home for 3 years. I don't know how or why I was returned to my parents but I was. At the age of 5 my parents divorced and I went with my mother never to see my father again until the age of 18. My mother was the youngest child of 10 and she moved me down to her family. I had my problems looking back at a very young age and no one helped me or asked me why. In the first grade I can remember stealing from other kids. This behavior stayed with my thru out my school career. At the age of 7 to 17 I was sexually abused by many men. Starting with my mothers boyfriends. The major of my abuse came from my mother’s older brother. His abuse was daily and I didn't know if I was going to make it to school or not. My mother was the physically abusive to me. I looked too much like my father and therefore I deserved to be hit every time she walked by me. I finally told my mother about my abuse at age 15. She did nothing to keep me safe and because I had told I was an outcast in my family. I removed myself from my home at the age of 17 and that was the day that I feel apart and have been that way ever since. It's hard to explain but it was like the day I left is the day I died. I know longer had to fight for my life daily because the threat was gone however that is all I knew how to do. I stop living that day. I have struggled every since. I wasn't raised in any church matter of fact just the opposite. The adversary was a mighty force in our family. I joined The Church of Latter-Day Saints 12 years ago. Many people would say that I have come along way since they met me but I don't see it. I have never allowed anyone to get to close to me and that even includes Heavenly Father and the Savior. I long for it but am scared of the unknown. Your book has encouraged me to start changing my attitude and looking to find Holy Places in my life.
Although our challenges or different they are somewhat the same as they both lead us to the Savior and his Healing Power. I look forward to learning more about Grace. Boy do I need that one in my life. Thank you for letting me share with you part of my story. It's only part of my story because I'm just now learning and believing that the Savior can play a major role in healing me. So I will have to write back on the rest of my story.”
If this hits a little close to home for you, please know that you are worth loving and that healing is available through Jesus Christ and his atonement. Making and then keeping covenants with Heavenly Father will bring meaning and purpose to the struggles we face.
It isn’t fair that my new friend, and many, many others, are put into such difficult life situations, but this life isn’t about fairness. This life is about finding Christ and allowing him to help us grow and stretch until we are able to rest with him in a better world. There is a place where no hurt or physical or emotional damage will be done to us. There is a place where we will find joy, acceptance and real, pure love. There is a place prepared for you and me where mortality can do no more harm. The way to find this place is through the Way. It is the Way. Jesus really is the Christ. For me, this means that he is there to save, carry and love me every day. He is there to give me courage and strength when I have neither. He is the one who has already suffered for my sins and is anxious for me to repent and find peace. He is there to lead me back to the Father.
Don’t give up, my friend, and those friends whose stories I don’t know. Don’t give up the battle to live a Christ centered life. He will help. I know it. He loves you perfectly.
Although our challenges or different they are somewhat the same as they both lead us to the Savior and his Healing Power. I look forward to learning more about Grace. Boy do I need that one in my life. Thank you for letting me share with you part of my story. It's only part of my story because I'm just now learning and believing that the Savior can play a major role in healing me. So I will have to write back on the rest of my story.”
If this hits a little close to home for you, please know that you are worth loving and that healing is available through Jesus Christ and his atonement. Making and then keeping covenants with Heavenly Father will bring meaning and purpose to the struggles we face.
It isn’t fair that my new friend, and many, many others, are put into such difficult life situations, but this life isn’t about fairness. This life is about finding Christ and allowing him to help us grow and stretch until we are able to rest with him in a better world. There is a place where no hurt or physical or emotional damage will be done to us. There is a place where we will find joy, acceptance and real, pure love. There is a place prepared for you and me where mortality can do no more harm. The way to find this place is through the Way. It is the Way. Jesus really is the Christ. For me, this means that he is there to save, carry and love me every day. He is there to give me courage and strength when I have neither. He is the one who has already suffered for my sins and is anxious for me to repent and find peace. He is there to lead me back to the Father.
Don’t give up, my friend, and those friends whose stories I don’t know. Don’t give up the battle to live a Christ centered life. He will help. I know it. He loves you perfectly.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A Good Gift
I have had a few months where I have felt pretty horrible physically. I am doing better now, but for a while, my doctors had no clue what was wrong. In fact, I had three of them say to me, “I don’t know what to do with you.” Isn’t that a fun diagnosis?
One day, while I was lying in bed feeling yucky and discouraged, my little boy came in to lay by me. As we were talking, he said that he wished I could still see. I agreed. Then he changed his outlook and said,” But, seeing blackness is a good gift.” I smiled at this one. He then patted my arm and said something that melted my heart, “You are a good gift, Momma.” Isn’t that darling?
My son’s simple comments that day, not only lifted my sad heart, but helped me look for the “good gift(s)” in my life. Even seeing blackness is a gift because it means I am still alive to care for my cute little family- even when they drive me crazy.
If you are reading this, you are a good gift! You really are. You are alive to do the Father’s will for you. If you are discouraged, like I was, look for those good gifts in your life. They might even be the things that get you down.
One day, while I was lying in bed feeling yucky and discouraged, my little boy came in to lay by me. As we were talking, he said that he wished I could still see. I agreed. Then he changed his outlook and said,” But, seeing blackness is a good gift.” I smiled at this one. He then patted my arm and said something that melted my heart, “You are a good gift, Momma.” Isn’t that darling?
My son’s simple comments that day, not only lifted my sad heart, but helped me look for the “good gift(s)” in my life. Even seeing blackness is a gift because it means I am still alive to care for my cute little family- even when they drive me crazy.
If you are reading this, you are a good gift! You really are. You are alive to do the Father’s will for you. If you are discouraged, like I was, look for those good gifts in your life. They might even be the things that get you down.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Trials
In studying for a Sunday School lesson, I found this quote about the purpose of trials. I hope my rough spots are smoothing out. What do you think?
The Prophet Joseph Smith said: “I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, … knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 304).
Can you relate?
The Prophet Joseph Smith said: “I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, … knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 304).
Can you relate?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sea Ranch
I recently returned from a vacation to the northern California coast at a place called the Sea Ranch. It is a beautiful 10 mile area along the cliffs of the ocean on one side and redwood forests on the other. Growing up, Sea Ranch was a wonderful place where my parents took my siblings and me, and it was fun to be able to allow my two boys to enjoy it.
One evening, I sat alone on the beach, my feet in the sand near where the tide came in. I felt the breeze on my skin and listened to the waves crash off shore. It was so peaceful and calming to me.
I felt that in such a state, some great wisdom should come to me. I waited and listened, and waited and listened. My thoughts were only, “I’m sitting here in the sand and can’t see a dang thing!” Well, that certainly wasn’t anything new or wise. But, that reality led me to think about my life in the dark and my hope in the resurrection. I wouldn’t always have physical troubles. They will end. The things I wish I could see, like the powerful waves crashing right in front of me, wouldn’t be lost forever. I would some day see things more beautiful than the ocean and beech. If I endure well, I will see the Lord. I recommitted to myself to be more patient and faithful- to keep going.
I’m grateful for my knowledge of Jesus Christ and my hope in him which helps me move forward.
Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven” (quoted in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, 98). So, we'll keep on keeping on. Grin.
One evening, I sat alone on the beach, my feet in the sand near where the tide came in. I felt the breeze on my skin and listened to the waves crash off shore. It was so peaceful and calming to me.
I felt that in such a state, some great wisdom should come to me. I waited and listened, and waited and listened. My thoughts were only, “I’m sitting here in the sand and can’t see a dang thing!” Well, that certainly wasn’t anything new or wise. But, that reality led me to think about my life in the dark and my hope in the resurrection. I wouldn’t always have physical troubles. They will end. The things I wish I could see, like the powerful waves crashing right in front of me, wouldn’t be lost forever. I would some day see things more beautiful than the ocean and beech. If I endure well, I will see the Lord. I recommitted to myself to be more patient and faithful- to keep going.
I’m grateful for my knowledge of Jesus Christ and my hope in him which helps me move forward.
Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven” (quoted in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, 98). So, we'll keep on keeping on. Grin.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Summer Challenge
The month of June has been a tough one for me. I have had some health problems-nothing huge- and have not felt much like posting. However, I am pulling out of the hole of illness and hope to be finding my personality again.
My Relief Society has issued another invitation. In order to prepare for October General Conference, we will be studying the previous Conference. Join me in taking this challenge. We’ll read 3 talks each week and share what we learn, think, and feel. Sound good?
I’ve already read this week’s assigned talks and especially loved Elder Uchtdorf’s address. One thing that really hit me is that when I show impatience, I am manifesting selfishness. Ouch! So, this morning I have really been working on being more patient with my boys. So far, so good. Well, I did have one little slip up.
Let me know what you learn.
Summer CHALLENGE
May 2010 Conference Addresses
Week of: July 4 Faith Welcome to Conference (4)
The Rock of Our Redeemer (16)
Continue in Patience (56)
July 11 Virtue Remember Who You Are! (120)
Video Presentation: I Have (123)
July 18 Adversity Turn to the Lord (78)
All Things Work Together for Good (101)
Your Happily Ever After (124)
July 25 Values “And Upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit” (10)
Our Path of Duty (13)
When the Lord Commands (38)
Act in All Diligence (60)
Aug 1 Values Preparation Brings Blessings (64)
Developing Good Judgment and Not Judging Others (103)
Be of a Good Courage (114)
Never, Never, Never Give Up! (117)
Aug 8 Family: Children Help Them on Their Way Home (22)
Watching with All Perseverance (40)
That Our Children Might See the Face of the Savior (81)
Aug 15 Family: Children Our Duty to God: The Mission of Parents and Leaders (95)
Things Pertaining to Righteousness (106)
Tell Me the Stories of Jesus (108)
Aug 22 Family: Motherhood Mothers and Daughters (18)
Mothers Teaching Children in the Home (29)
Mother Told Me (98)
Aug 29 Priesthood the Power of the Priesthood (6)
Healing the Sick (47)
The Magnificent Aaronic Priesthood (54)
Sept 5 Service When the Lord Commands (38)
“You Are My Hands” (68)
Sept 12 Additional Doctrine The Blessing of Scripture (32)
The Divine Call of a Missionary (51)
Sept 19 Additional Doctrine Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul (44)
Generations Linked in Love (91)
Sept 26 Jesus Christ He Lives! All Glory to His Name! (75)
We Follow Jesus Christ (83)
He Is Risen! (87)
A Word at Closing (112)
Conference October 2nd and 3rd
My Relief Society has issued another invitation. In order to prepare for October General Conference, we will be studying the previous Conference. Join me in taking this challenge. We’ll read 3 talks each week and share what we learn, think, and feel. Sound good?
I’ve already read this week’s assigned talks and especially loved Elder Uchtdorf’s address. One thing that really hit me is that when I show impatience, I am manifesting selfishness. Ouch! So, this morning I have really been working on being more patient with my boys. So far, so good. Well, I did have one little slip up.
Let me know what you learn.
Summer CHALLENGE
May 2010 Conference Addresses
Week of: July 4 Faith Welcome to Conference (4)
The Rock of Our Redeemer (16)
Continue in Patience (56)
July 11 Virtue Remember Who You Are! (120)
Video Presentation: I Have (123)
July 18 Adversity Turn to the Lord (78)
All Things Work Together for Good (101)
Your Happily Ever After (124)
July 25 Values “And Upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit” (10)
Our Path of Duty (13)
When the Lord Commands (38)
Act in All Diligence (60)
Aug 1 Values Preparation Brings Blessings (64)
Developing Good Judgment and Not Judging Others (103)
Be of a Good Courage (114)
Never, Never, Never Give Up! (117)
Aug 8 Family: Children Help Them on Their Way Home (22)
Watching with All Perseverance (40)
That Our Children Might See the Face of the Savior (81)
Aug 15 Family: Children Our Duty to God: The Mission of Parents and Leaders (95)
Things Pertaining to Righteousness (106)
Tell Me the Stories of Jesus (108)
Aug 22 Family: Motherhood Mothers and Daughters (18)
Mothers Teaching Children in the Home (29)
Mother Told Me (98)
Aug 29 Priesthood the Power of the Priesthood (6)
Healing the Sick (47)
The Magnificent Aaronic Priesthood (54)
Sept 5 Service When the Lord Commands (38)
“You Are My Hands” (68)
Sept 12 Additional Doctrine The Blessing of Scripture (32)
The Divine Call of a Missionary (51)
Sept 19 Additional Doctrine Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul (44)
Generations Linked in Love (91)
Sept 26 Jesus Christ He Lives! All Glory to His Name! (75)
We Follow Jesus Christ (83)
He Is Risen! (87)
A Word at Closing (112)
Conference October 2nd and 3rd
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Hope In Good Things to Come
I have been writing another book and thought you might like a sneak peak. Here's one of my chapters. What do you think?
*****
After n hour, we finally arrived at our family reunion in a canyon near Salt Lake City, and I had one thing on my mind. I had to find the restroom.
Before we joined my husband’s family members around the camp fire, we detoured into the cabin. I opened the bathroom door, then closed and locked it. I leaned my cane in the corner, and got all ready to sit on the toilet. However, as I was sitting down, I reached out my hand to find the toilet, and instead, felt…a head of hair! Needless to say, I yanked up my pants extremely quickly.
Noting the altitude of the head, I deduced that it was a young head, and was probably a bit disturbed by what had flashed before its eyes. Trying to reassure my new friend, I inquired, “Was that scary?”
“Uh-huh.”
It spoke! The head could speak! Why it hadn’t found its voice earlier, I’m not sure, but I was glad to hear it nonetheless. After apologizing, I left my bathroom buddy, and walked out to the group- shaking my head in disbelief. When they saw me approach, the family asked me what was wrong.
“I’ll pay for therapy.” I said. “Some little girl in the bathroom is going to need it.”
You know, being able to look behind you does have its advantages.
I am amazed at the situations I get myself into. So many embarrassing things wouldn’t happen if only I could see. As things stand, however, I guess I’ll continue collecting experiences for my stand-up comedy routine.
But, not all my experiences are funny. There have been times that have been so difficult and discouraging, that I’ve longed to have my life back the way it was before my cancer and blindness. I miss the woman I used to be, and the things I was able to do.
I look back to my days of light, and wish things had turned out differently. Do you, like me, ever suffer from the “If only” syndrome? It is so easy to look to our past and say, “If only this or that hadn’t happened, then…”, “Why didn’t I…?”, or “Why did I…?”
Sure, we can benefit by remembering lessons learned, and good times we’ve had, but too much looking back can damage our spiritual eye sight. If we focus on mistakes, wallow in guilt or regret, hold tightly to grudges, or long for what has been lost, then our eyes are again removed from the Light. Our vision dims, and our progression slows.
It may be extremely difficult to move beyond sadness, anger or bitterness caused by past events. But, if we remain stuck in those emotions, we forfeit light which can lead us forward. It works the same when we long for the good days of the past. We may not live fully in today because yesterday was easier or happier.
“…I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experi¬enced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives” ( Brigham Young University 2008-2009 Speeches, Remember Lot’s Wife, Jeffrey R. Holland
13 January 2009).
I love the truth that faith points us, and helps us to move forward. Faith in Jesus Christ promises hope for good things to come. It brings meaning to our struggles, and offers courage to continue through dark times. Faith in Jesus Christ is light.
My life is definitely not easy, and I don’t like living every day in darkness. But my faith in my Savior leads me to have hope in what lies ahead. I invite you to allow Christ to hold and heal pain from the past. Allow his sacrifice to pay for sin- your own and those who have hurt you. Point yourself forward with hope in a loving God who wants your happiness. This takes work, of course, but our faith will bring the needed strength found through and in the atonement.
It’s true that I miss those far off days of light, but I know that the woman I was had not been polished enough to someday sit with my Savior and the Father. I needed to grow more. I needed to become more. Although I thought I would never again be happy after I went blind, my hope in Christ has brought me to a much better place- a place where joy still exists.
Whether our past is filled with sadness or joy, we cannot dwell there. This life is all about progression, and our individual growth will come as we keep our eyes firmly facing forward, not backward. Have hope. There is joy and happiness ahead. There are good things to come.
*****
After n hour, we finally arrived at our family reunion in a canyon near Salt Lake City, and I had one thing on my mind. I had to find the restroom.
Before we joined my husband’s family members around the camp fire, we detoured into the cabin. I opened the bathroom door, then closed and locked it. I leaned my cane in the corner, and got all ready to sit on the toilet. However, as I was sitting down, I reached out my hand to find the toilet, and instead, felt…a head of hair! Needless to say, I yanked up my pants extremely quickly.
Noting the altitude of the head, I deduced that it was a young head, and was probably a bit disturbed by what had flashed before its eyes. Trying to reassure my new friend, I inquired, “Was that scary?”
“Uh-huh.”
It spoke! The head could speak! Why it hadn’t found its voice earlier, I’m not sure, but I was glad to hear it nonetheless. After apologizing, I left my bathroom buddy, and walked out to the group- shaking my head in disbelief. When they saw me approach, the family asked me what was wrong.
“I’ll pay for therapy.” I said. “Some little girl in the bathroom is going to need it.”
You know, being able to look behind you does have its advantages.
I am amazed at the situations I get myself into. So many embarrassing things wouldn’t happen if only I could see. As things stand, however, I guess I’ll continue collecting experiences for my stand-up comedy routine.
But, not all my experiences are funny. There have been times that have been so difficult and discouraging, that I’ve longed to have my life back the way it was before my cancer and blindness. I miss the woman I used to be, and the things I was able to do.
I look back to my days of light, and wish things had turned out differently. Do you, like me, ever suffer from the “If only” syndrome? It is so easy to look to our past and say, “If only this or that hadn’t happened, then…”, “Why didn’t I…?”, or “Why did I…?”
Sure, we can benefit by remembering lessons learned, and good times we’ve had, but too much looking back can damage our spiritual eye sight. If we focus on mistakes, wallow in guilt or regret, hold tightly to grudges, or long for what has been lost, then our eyes are again removed from the Light. Our vision dims, and our progression slows.
It may be extremely difficult to move beyond sadness, anger or bitterness caused by past events. But, if we remain stuck in those emotions, we forfeit light which can lead us forward. It works the same when we long for the good days of the past. We may not live fully in today because yesterday was easier or happier.
“…I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experi¬enced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives” ( Brigham Young University 2008-2009 Speeches, Remember Lot’s Wife, Jeffrey R. Holland
13 January 2009).
I love the truth that faith points us, and helps us to move forward. Faith in Jesus Christ promises hope for good things to come. It brings meaning to our struggles, and offers courage to continue through dark times. Faith in Jesus Christ is light.
My life is definitely not easy, and I don’t like living every day in darkness. But my faith in my Savior leads me to have hope in what lies ahead. I invite you to allow Christ to hold and heal pain from the past. Allow his sacrifice to pay for sin- your own and those who have hurt you. Point yourself forward with hope in a loving God who wants your happiness. This takes work, of course, but our faith will bring the needed strength found through and in the atonement.
It’s true that I miss those far off days of light, but I know that the woman I was had not been polished enough to someday sit with my Savior and the Father. I needed to grow more. I needed to become more. Although I thought I would never again be happy after I went blind, my hope in Christ has brought me to a much better place- a place where joy still exists.
Whether our past is filled with sadness or joy, we cannot dwell there. This life is all about progression, and our individual growth will come as we keep our eyes firmly facing forward, not backward. Have hope. There is joy and happiness ahead. There are good things to come.
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